Help your child shine in group activities.
More than ever before, today’s classroom is all about teamwork. On Monday your child might be reviewing math problems with a study buddy, and on Friday joining a five-student team to put on a skit. That’s a big change for kids used to going it alone.
Some kids make the adjustment without a ripple. But for others, the transition from “I’ll do it myself” to “We can do it together” is a real challenge.
“The vast majority of these young childhood problems resolve very quickly over a relatively short period of time,” says Dr. Madeline Levine, a former preschool psychologist and author of The Price of Privilege. “What you see in a 3-year-old often has nothing to do with what you’ll see in your 13-year-old, so how they act now isn’t necessarily a sign of what they’ll be like in the future.”
ADJUST IN TEAM SITUATIONS:
- Start off with small groups. "Set up an environment that they’re comfortable in,” Levine says. “Don’t bring over eight kids to play, but bring over one and hang around to see what happens.” As your child’s confidence grows, look for larger group activities to participate in.
- Talk to your child’s teacher. Maybe your youngster is being bullied at recess, which could lead to withdrawal from group activities.
- If your child is being the bossy one, take it in stride. Unless he or she is bullying others, you may simply have a natural leader on your hands.
In fact, one of the most positive aspects of team participation is the opportunity to exercise those leadership muscles in a positive way. “You want to develop leadership in healthy ways, but you also want the bossy child to pause and think before bossing people around,” Levine says.
When working with your child on homework, a puzzle, or a game, you could say, “You’re such a leader, what do you think is the best way to do this?” or “You’re so good at this. What do you think the best way to handle this would be?” This will teach your child to think, then act.
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